Merging Pet Families
Advice from Animal Expert Dr. Grey Stafford
 Like many of you, I grew up watching the “Brady Bunch” on TV and as I recall, the actual wedding day was disrupted because the girls had a cat and the boys had a dog. In typical fashion the cat didn’t like the dog or the dog just wanted to play and the mayhem ensued. Apparently, the Brady’s spent all their time bringing the separate families together, forgetting to help the pets do the same.
While I do not suggest you take behavior training lessons from a 70’s sitcom, the story line hits close to home for people trying to merge kids, in-laws, houses, stuff and pets into one household. That’s a lot of change for any anyone, human or pet.
If this is your situation, a little preparation beforehand will go a long way to making the transition to a new home, family and pet collection an easier one. First and foremost, I would not advise you just put pets together and hope they’ll figure out how to get along. In truth, they will figure something out, but you may not like their solution!
Instead, before you all have to live together, try to create opportunities for the pets to meet one another, preferably on neutral territory like a dog park or some unfamiliar place. (Meeting at one pet’s “home” may give it an unfair advantage in the comfort level department. By meeting in a place that is strange to all the animals, you can level the playing field for everybody.) Try to keep these initial encounters brief, fun and 100 percent successful. Make sure to have plenty of rewards available to let each one know you appreciate calm, cooperative behaviors.
Even if they seem to get along, it is a good idea to separate them from each other while things are still going well. Avoid getting greedy by taking these introductions as slowly as your circumstances will allow, especially if your pets don’t have a lot of experience with other animals or species. Ten successful short encounters (i.e. zero fighting) are much better than one or two long interactions where the animals separate themselves due to fighting or fear.
Once they show some success together in a strange place, try taking them to their new home. Be sure to have plenty of reinforcements for everybody on hand (including your time and attention), so that no one feels left out or has to compete for its fair share. Avoid leaving them alone, unsupervised at first until you are certain they are responding well with each other. When you do leave animals alone, be sure each has an escape route in case their play gets out of hand or they just want some space. And, as you observe how each animal behaves in this new social group or “pack” be sure to always reward the more dominant animals (whether it’s the cat, dog or bird) quickly but last in order. That way, the pushiest members of your new family group won’t perceive the other more timid members (animals or people) as threats. Rather, the sight of other pets getting rewarded will become a cue that their turn is next!
Good luck with your new "blended" family.
Dr. Grey
Learn more about Dr. Grey Stafford
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