Weight excuse causes a halt in sex life
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A Sweet Connection Member from Glendale asked:
About three months ago, I had been bugging my boyfriend as to why we weren't having sex anymore. Kept prying and prying until finally one night he decided to talk to me about it.
He proceeded to tell me the reason was that he felt that I needed to lose weight! I have had two kids and after my last one I did get big. I was 110 lbs my whole life and got up to 170.
Since all this happened, I can't help but be resentful and mean towards him. Our relationship is falling apart. What can I do to get over this and fix things?
Dear in need of advice:
Something about this doesn't sound right. He's been withholding sex for 3 months, and he's blaming it on how he feels about your weight - but you have had this extra weight since the last baby? I think something else is going on here.
First of all, there is a lack of communication. You have to wonder what else he's not telling you. You are hurt, so that's why you are acting out, trying to hurt him back. It's not just that you need to get over this and fix things. He needs to learn how to talk with you, and not be passive aggressive.
You two need counseling. Get all the issues out on the table. This is not just about weight, it's about respect - and that's something you need to address right away, before it's too late.
Love,
~ Lissa
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