What's Good for Both of You
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A member in Tempe doesn't know what she wants from her boyfriend. 
Dear Lissa,
I've been with my boyfriend for four and a half years. We have never been through a break up. I had messed up a few times on him and he knows about it, but we worked them out. He's a very responsible, non-social, serious person, and I'm more of an outgoing fun person.
Lately he's been talking about marriage and moving in together. But I don't feel the same way. I don't know if that's what it is, or if it's something else. But it seems I've been losing feelings for him. But I don't understand, because he has never emotionally hurt me.
So this past weekend, I decided to take a break. He was very upset and he really doesn't like the fact of a break. And now I miss him a lot and I don't know if it was a good choice or not. Please let me know what you think.
Dear Missing Him,
Opposites attract, but they notoriously don't last. I don't know how you've stayed together this long, especially with your "mess ups" - the guy seems to be a glutton for punishment. You probably need more of an "outgoing, fun" person like yourself so that you don't get bored and mess up.
Sure, you're missing him, because there is comfort in not changing things. But you have to think about what is best for each of you in the long run.
If messing up is a pattern with you, it's not going to change after you move in together or get married. You say you don't feel the same way as he does about making a commitment - so you're not ready, and you may never be ready with this particular guy.
For his sake, leave the guy alone. Let him find a responsible, serious girl who is ready to settle down.
Love,
~
Lissa
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