Control Issues
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A member from Gilbert just wants to cut her hair.
 Dear Lissa,
I have been married to my husband for 29 years. It has been wonderful. I love him very much, however he has a huge problem when I get my hair cut short. He hates my hair short, and he expresses it by being very angry, telling me I look 40 pounds heavier with my hair short. I think if I was 120 pounds I would still look fat to him. When my friends, my daughters and co- workers see me, they like my hair short because it makes me look younger.
I love to have my hair short because it is so much easier to take care of and when it is 115 it is much cooler too. My question is my husband being unreasonable to expect me to have my hair long? Or even to have my hair the way I like it?
Dear Gilbert,
Your husband is being unreasonable. And he's trying to control you. The issue isn't your hair so much as it is that you're doing something that he has no control of. And to treat you badly because of it is a form of abuse.
Take this as a signal that it's time to get counseling, before things get worse. You both need to love each other, and accept each other "as is," and not try to control or change each other. 29 years is a long time to be together - hasn't he learned this by now?
Love,
~
Lissa
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