Emotional Connection or Just Sex?
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A member in Mesa says being single is not what she was hoping for.
Dear Lissa, 
My boyfriend of eight years broke up with me last October because he said we aren't compatible. We owned a home together and he refinanced to give me my half of the equity and remove me from the title of the property and out of the house. After that we didn't speak.
But about 4 weeks later he started calling me again, hanging out with me, and ultimately spending the night at my new place. This has been going on now over the last 6-8 months since we've been separated.
I believe he just wants to have some uncommitted fun with me and not the serious relationship we had before. My problem, it's hard not to accept his calls or not to call him because the single life is not all I thought it would be.
I still care about him but I suspect I'm being used. Should I ask him not to contact me anymore or just ignore him? What if he really just needs time to realize that he's making a big mistake by letting me go?
Dear Still Cares,
This is a common theme. The man breaks it off, and then comes around for sex. The woman can't help it, she misses that emotional connection. But for the man, it's not an emotional connection - it's just sex!
Be clear about what you need. Tell him not to call you anymore–that sex is not a part of the equation unless you are in a committed relationship. And be true to your word - and your SELF!
Start going out with other guys, go out with the girls, take a class, join a club. You have so many options if you'll just look around and quit wasting your time on this guy.
If it's time that he needs to realize that he made a mistake by letting you go, he's not going to get that time if you're still seeing him and sleeping with him. He's going to need to be without you for awhile.
Love,
~
Lissa
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