Tattoo or Not…that's the Question
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A member in Phoenix thinks her husband should let her change her look. 
Dear Lissa,
I am 39 and have been married for 24 years (I was married at 15). My husband and I keep having a disagreement because I would like to get a tattoo, he does not want me to. I say I am 39 and should do what I want to at this age. He says he married me without one and does not want me to get one. Who's right?
~ Craving Ink in Phoenix
Dear Craving Ink,
There's no right or wrong here. I would look at why you want to get a tattoo. What do you think it will do for you? You can get henna tattoos that fade, or semi-permanent ones that wear off. You don't necessarily have to get a real tattoo that will be there forever.
And not getting a real tattoo does show respect for your husband's opinion. You're a person, but you're also half of a couple. Some men just don't like the idea of tattoos, it turns them off.
On the other hand, if your husband is telling you how to dress, where to go, what to cook, who to see, and he doesn't want you to get a tattoo - then he's being controlling, pulling a power play, and that can lead to abuse. If that's the case, then you need to change something, because it will only get worse.
But if it's just the tattoo that is the issue, which I suspect is the case, just how bad do you want it? And how bad does he not want you to get it? I would put the relationship first, skip the needle and just get some fun fake tattoos to play around with until the urge passes.
Love,
~
Lissa
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