She Says She's Not In Love With Him
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
Dear Lissa, 
After a pretty good 9 day holiday over the 4th, my fiance of one year, best friend and soulmate, partner for the past 6+ years tells me she loves me, but is not in love with me. She wants to start again build up the friendship and see where it goes from there.
It is a few days before her 25th, and she expects me to be there with her for a party and night out. She has been very distant of late - we do not talk much. She did say she needed some space. She says there is nothing I am doing wrong. I would be awesome husband, father, and all that.
I am devastated, to say the least.
Dear Devastated,
I think it's one of two things. If you've been together since this girl was 19, then this is probably the only real relationship she's ever had. She might be thinking that if she's ever going to have another relationship, that she'd better do it now, before she gets married. She may be feeling that she wants to experience more of life as a single person, since she really hasn't done that yet. If that is the case, then let her have the space. If you are really "meant to be" then it will happen. You have to let people come around on their own time. Don't get involved with her birthday celebration. Tell her that it's too soon for you to be her buddy, that you're going to need some time to get used to the idea. Don't put yourself in situations where you are going to feel bad.
The other possibility is that maybe she's thinking this whole engagement has dragged on long enough and you might never actually get married. Had you set a date for the wedding? If you really want to get married, then what are you waiting for? You've certainly known each other long enough. Seal the deal!
It's more likely the first case scenario, but you'll never know unless you talk it out. She owes you that much.
Love,
~
Lissa
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