Marriage for Two — not Three
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A member in Phoenix is having difficulty with a 3rd person not abiding by any boundaries she and her husband have set.
Dear Lissa,
What advice do you have for a wife that is in a loving relationship of 19 years? A year ago, my husband and I drifted apart due to him working long hours and we both weren't very nice to each other.
 As we drifted apart, he had an emotional relationship with a co-worker. First emotional then, yes, physical. The relationship ended soon after the physical actions started. He claims it really did not feel right.
It crushed me to have him confess to me what he was feeling and why he did it! My best friend was not there anymore, he ripped out my heart. But I listened and forgave! I love this man!
Well here is the dilemma... it has been over a year and the co-worker has not let go!!!! My husband found another job right away when he broke it off with her. And has communicated to her that what they had was not what he wants and he loves his life, with his wife and kids, but she doesn't hear him!
Throughout the year she has initiated running into him, calls our home to see if he will meet with her, and at those times, he again says to her, we crossed the line and she agrees that it was wrong but she still just wants to be friends. He has told her in front of me. When she calls, he gets to the point and doesn't stay on the phone long at all. She usually hangs up on him as soon as she hears him say that.
I trust my husband that he is telling me the truth. I feel in my heart and gut! We are happier now than we have ever been!
So... what should I do, to not let this woman bother me by her actions?
I really look forward to your advice!!! I want to move on... and she doesn't... she wants my husband! In her mind he's the one for her! Help!
Any advice will be soooo greatly appreciated!
Thank you!
Lissa advises 2 words: "restraining order".
Two words for you: restraining order. Get one immediately. This woman obviously can't abide by the boundaries that you and your husband have set for her, so she needs some legal boundaries. You've been too nice and polite. A restraining order will show that you are serious. Right now she is harassing you, and that is against the law. You need to protect yourself, and your marriage from this woman. She could be unstable, or even dangerous. Good luck!
Love,
~
Lissa
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