You Shouldn't Be Surprised…
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A member in Gilbert is caught in a cycle with her guy. 
Dear Lissa,
I've been with this guy for 3 years. Before us, he was married and had a girlfriend (#2) and I was #3. After 5 months of seeing each other, he separated with his wife and left #2.
Four months after that, I found out that he was cheating on me with the separated wife. He asked for forgiveness and I gave it.
10 months after, I found out he was cheating with his friend's live-in girlfriend. Then again I forgave, but now it seems like I can't forget. I always have this feeling that he's going to do it again.
It's been more than a year now, and so far, he hasn't done anything that I know of. We have a child together. I love him but not as much as I did. I think of him so low when it comes to women.
I don't know what to do. I am so confused. Please help. I know I'm crazy for staying but I love him.
Dear Loving Him,
This guy definitely has a pattern of behavior - and at least you're aware of it. You gotten involved with him, even though you knew his history, so you can't be too surprised.
But now he's broken your trust, as he did with these other women, and that's why you feel you don't love him as much, you're now the one who has been betrayed. Think about this: what can he do to regain your trust? What would it take for you to fall in love with him again? Do you feel safe with him, and loved? You have a child with this man, and yet, you're not married. Why?
If you sincerely want to continue in and build a healthy relationship with this person, I suggest you both go to counseling together. Figure out what you both want, and how you can achieve it together. Set some goals, talk, and really get honest with each other. Find out if your partner is capable of fidelity, and if he loves you enough to be faithful for the long haul.
Love,
~ Lissa
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