How and when do I tell him I cannot conceive?
Coffey Talk, with Relationship Expert Lissa Coffey
A Devastated Sweet Connection Member wrote:
“I am not sexually active yet. When I do start having sex (which will not be until I am married), I know that I cannot have a child. A few years ago I was diagnosed with a disease many of you may not have ever heard of called Turner's syndrome. To make a very long medical story short, I do have a uterus but no ovaries. I know that there are many options out there to still have a child someday especially since I can carry a child. When I found out about my situation I was 13, a little young to be thinking about children, but it was devastating for me because I have known since at least age 13 that I want a family one day. How would I tell the husband, should I tell the man I start seeing right upfront? Should I wait until we start thinking about marriage and settling down? How should I approach him about the situation and when I tell him, if he takes the news badly and gets really upset, should I leave him? I mean if he loves me, he'll want or should want to be with me no matter what and will see that there are ways of still having a family, whether it is a surrogate mother, a donor egg, or adoption. I was just curious how some of you gals would handle this situation. Any advice or support is appreciated."
Dear Devastated,
First of all, don't get too ahead of yourself. Any of us could "what if" ourselves crazy with various scenarios. When you feel close and emotionally safe with someone you'll know the right time to bring up the subject. Just be honest, and see what happens. As you are aware, you have many options, and you and whoever your future husband turns out to be can figure things out as you go.
Love,
Lissa
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