A Sweet Connection Member from Phoenix asks Lissa for help:
How can I get my husband to stop playing computer games and spend more time with me and the baby?

Dear Frustrated in Phoenix,

You probably can't get your hubby to stop playing computer games all together - and you might not want to. A lot of people use this as their "down time" - it's a way to relax and unwind. However, if his computer time is interfering with family time, that's not good. 

Sit down with your guy and figure out a schedule you both can live with. Maybe he has an hour of computer time right after the baby goes to bed.  Or one hour right before dinner. He has to agree to the schedule, and you have to go along with it and not complain. Set a timer for 55 minutes. When it goes off, he knows he has 5 minutes to wrap up whatever level he's on and call it a day. 

Make sure that your husband has plenty of activity to do with the baby while he's home, too. It can be dad's job to give the baby a bath, for example, or to read the baby a story before bed. And when the baby's asleep, think of things that the two of you can do to re-connect with each other. Make a special dessert, give each other massages, or play a board game together.  Pretty soon he'll see that you and the baby can be just as entertaining as any computer game!

Let me know how it goes! Love, Lissa

We hardly see each other and hardly talk. How can we connect?

A Sweet Connection from Girvin asks Lissa for advice:
My husband and I have been married almost two months. We have been together for a year and a half. After we got married we told each other that we would not fall into a "routine". Well we have and I am not quite sure how to fix it.

I work from 6am-2pm. He works from 3pm-11pm. Sometimes he works 12 hour days. I will try to stay up and visit with him when he gets off at 11pm, but having to work so early, I usually fall asleep. Then he gets home, we say about 15 words to each other, and I am asleep again.

I do not like the fact that this is the only time we have to talk. We have discussed different ideas, but none seem to work. My concern is that we no longer have the conversations we use to or the "behind closed doors" relationship.

Do you have any suggestions? I knew that we worked different shifts, and in the past I would stay up once he got home and visit, but I was not getting enough sleep. I do not want my relationship to fade with my newly husband. Please help.

Dear Disconnected in Girvin,

Even when you're not in the same room together, there are ways you can stay connected.  Start leaving your husband little love notes to find when he gets home.  Or make him a nice dinner or a sweet snack that he can just heat up to eat.  Put a card on his dashboard, or sticky notes on his computer screen.  Anything to let him know that you're thinking about him. He just might start doing the same for you and then you'll have a little game going. 

Toward the end of the week you can let him know how much you're looking forward to the weekend, when you can have time together for just the two of you, whether you're sleeping or snuggling!  Then make that time together special - turn off the phones and catch up on... everything! 

Good luck! Love, Lissa

My Life, Part II. When do I begin?

A Sweet Connection Member from Phoenix asks for Lissa’s suggestions:
I took a lot of things for granted. I always thought my marriage would last forever. It had already stood the test of time - 33 years to be exact. But I felt rejection day after day and night after night. We got more & more distant. He kept threatening divorce until finally one day I got sick of hearing it. I said "well do it then!" And we did.

I still get very lonely - It has been 1 1/2 years and I've never been asked out.  I have tried to improve myself. I have lost 30 lbs since Jan 2006, but.....  I have a few "girlfriends", but they never call. It's like I have a disease or something. I now own my own home and I'm happy here. But I wouldn't mind having someone to share my life with. I welcome suggestions!!

Dear Lonely in Phoenix,

Congratulations on making some very positive changes in your life. You've gotten out of a bad relationship, shed some unwanted weight and bought a house - good for you! Now that you have accomplished that, take some time to get to know yourself. What do you like to do? What makes you happy? Spend time pursuing activities you love, and spend time treating yourself well.  Romance yourself! Sign up for some classes, and join some groups where you will meet other people who share your same interests. This is a great time for you to get out there as a new you with a new attitude and outlook on life.  Embrace these opportunities and your social life will naturally blossom. Have fun!

Keep me posted! Love, Lissa

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