Making the Right Decision for You
By Relationship Barista Lissa Coffey
A member needs help choosing between two guys.
Dear Lissa, 
The question I have for you is see I am married but have been living separated for almost 3 years. I have found this real sweet guy who is um...very caring, listens and my husband wants to get back together????
I don't know what to do. I like this new guy. He treats me right. But I think I want to get my family back together, but he don't treat me properly like the new guy. So please help me think this through.
thank you!
Dear Thinking,
Interesting timing - you've been separated from your husband for 3 years, and just now, when you find a nice guy, he wants to get back together? What else has changed? I think you've given the husband quite enough chance, and he's still not treating you right, so the question I have is why haven't you divorced him sooner?
Get your life in order, legally and otherwise, before getting serious with the new guy. Be honest with him and let him know what is going on.
A member wants to help her sister-in-law make the right decision.
Dear Lissa,
My future sister-in-law has two male friends whom she always hangs out with. Recently one of her friends, we'll call him guy#1, ended a 4 year relationship and was hurt bad! But he also realized the great girl he had in front of him (my future sis-in-law).
But before the break up with his girlfriend, she built up a couple of feelings for her other friend (we'll call him guy#2). And to make it worse, both guys are best friends as well.
Now she is very confused about the two, because she finds guy#1 more attractive than guy#2 that she already has feelings for. Plus she also knows that guy#1 has a better personality, and they have a lot more in common than the friend guy#2.
Plus, guy#2 has lied to her about some things that made her question how strong his feelings really are for her. She confronted him about it, and he explained, but she's still not sure how to feel about it.
By the way, we're very close, so she tells me everything. I just want to help as much as I can. My suggestion was to give guy#1 time to make sure that his feelings for the other girl are truly gone and truly cares for my sister-in-law. To give guy #2 time to repair his mistakes and prove his really interested in her. And last, to give herself time to think things over for herself, make sure she's really ready for a relationship with that guy (she's only 19 years old) or any relationship at all. After all, she needs to be #1 on her list of worries. Your advice would be gratefully appreciated.
Concerned for my sis-in-law in AZ
Dear Concerned,
I vote for Guy #3! You are right to suggest time. And at 19, your future sister-in-law has plenty of it. These two guys are not the only options she has in her life.
She needs to give them both some space, let them grow up, and also learn more about herself and what she wants out of a relationship. That's what dating is all about. You don't have to limit yourself to only dating one person. You don't have to commit to anyone other than yourself! It sounds like you are a great friend, and have given some solid advice.
Good luck to her!
~Lissa
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